THE BOOKISH CREATURE THAT HIDES IN ITS LAIR OF PILLOWS, COMING OUT ONLY OCCASIONALLY FOR MORE BOOKS AND SNACKS IS A STRANGE AND MYSTERIOUS CREATURE.
Dun Dun Dun…!
You really shouldn’t try to understand why a bookworm does something. Why?
- It will burst your puny human* mind
- Not everything has a reason ok?! I mean why are there MICRO PIGS?????
It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. However, being the GENEROUS Queen of the Universe
person that I am, I decided to try and help you understand the bookish ways©**. Also in this post, I use lists. Because LISTS??? #AddedBonus. And anyway, everyone deserves some pointlessness in their lives. I’m too kind.***
Note: DON’T read this if you like everything having a proper reason.
*Because bookworms have a really weird way of thinking compared to teeny humans.
**Pfft, as if you could understand? You must be one with the
***I’m completely not getting you to trust me so that world domination will be easier. Haha, why would you even think that? haha hahaha
ONTO THE POST
1. Organising and reorganising a bookshelf.
There are so many ways to organise!! I’m literally dying of happiness right now:
- Alphabetically- By the first name of the authour or the last name of the author or the first letter of the title or… the last letter of the title??*
- Colour order- Aesthetically pleasing or what?
- Height order- More satisfying the slime. True fact.
- By genre- This doesn’t really work if you only read a couple of genres but still???
- Randomly- Like why not? Bookworms are paid by the book
I wishso obvs they’re going to spend more time reading???
Having a BEAUTIFUL shelf is just like gygwugwgcghueu *jaw drop*. It is also very important to (most) bookworms**. All the books are just so gorgeous and neat and easy to find.
*Why are you looking at me like that??? You could totally do that if you wanted to.
**Unfortunately I don’t currently have a shelf and am stacking books in massive piles on my floor? What who said that?
2. Staring at books
Er, who doesn’t do this? 54% of SAID BOOKWORM’S time is spent staring at books. Everyone AT LEAST does this at one point in their lives. Because:
- Oooh, the pretty colours!
- Oooh, the gorgeous covers!
- Oooh, the soft pages!
I must stroke it now.
- Oooh, the joy I’ll have when I read them!*
- Oooh, the mental trauma and scarring these books are going to leave me with is almost hidden too well!
This is basically me every other day
and why I have no life. You just need… some time before you earn the right to read that amazing book.
3. Doing nothing for a while after finishing a book
I don’t know if this is everyone but it is ME. If I just read a particularly sad book, I just need time to:
- Let the sadness take over
- Cry my eyes out
- Beg the authour to change the ending*
- Dream about alternate endings
- And oh I don’t know but maybe bang my head on the wall like Dobby?
You should definitely NOT approach a bookworm in any of these stages. They just want to wallow in their tears and self-pity and feel sorry for themselves. If you interrupt, they will either a) soak your shirt with tears and make you listen to a massive rant about why life is so unfair. b) Shout at you till you start crying as well or their throat hurts (in which case they will eat chocolate and ice-cream).** c) Be glad for the distraction/attention.***
*This being in their head of course.
**This time NOT in their head.
***The chances of this happening are less than 1.3531224313%
4. Staying up all night
Before we start this, I’d just like to mention that I can’t stay up late to save my life. So this doesn’t apply to me UNLESS I’m reading a super amazing book. A bookworm may stay up late if:
- Their book is wayyy too good* to put down.
- If the book is really sad and they need to cry about it for 5 minutes or an hour
or their entire lives.
- If it is ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL and they must worship its amazingness.
- To think about cute ships
Kaz and Inej
- To try and get over the trauma of losing a special book world forever
*Not for your eyes then**
***NOOO. I didn’t mean it at all I love you so much. Please forgive me.
5. Spending hours in bookshops/libraries.
Why? Why do we have to choose???? Why are there limits??? I would spend 531795+ hours in a bookshop/library if there weren’t annoying people hurrying me along. #Indecisive* But really, a bookworm+bookshop+limited choice=SO MANY PROBLEMS. Ahem. Let me explain:
- First the limit. WHY CAN’T YOU GET MORE THAN ___ (Insert number here) BOOKS??
- Your TBR grows as you see more interesting books.
- Not having enough time to
stroke the covers of every single bookbrowse everywhere.
- Conflict happens when you can’t choose between 2 books to take home.
- The owner glaring at you for suspicious behaviour** so you need to hurry up
*See how brilliantly I sum up in one word???
**What? What are you even talking about? I’m so not about to steal all these books *walks away suspiciously*
Well, that’s all folks! I hope you enjoyed
finding out all my secrets about what I do in life reading this! *Crosses fingers and hopes it’s relatable and not just her*
CHAT WITH ME! Do you do any of these? Which ones? Do you have any to add? Can you stay up late? What’s the latest you’ve been up till?* What’s your favourite book to stare at? How do you organise your shelf? Or do you not have one? How do you store your books??? In a magical rip in the fabric of time and space that appears when you need it?**
*Cos everyone memorises stuff like this obvs.
**This MUST be real. Tell me your secrets!! I have to know.